Another episode, another delayed review because of the real world. Anyway, this season as been a hell of a ride thus far, so let’s see what the twisted bastards in charge do next.

We open with Daenerys and her army putting a plan in place to start a slave revolt inside the walls of…hold on…um…Meereen, that’s the one. Grey Worm infiltrates the group, leaving a few surprises for the masters. Flashforward, the city has fallen and Dragon Lady is pissed, ready to exact revenge for all 163 children that were nailed to mile markers along the way…by crucifixion. Awesome…

To King’s Landing, Bronn and Jaime are kicking each others ass and then wax poetic about Tyrion. Bronn tells Jaime that he was Tyrion’s first choice for champion for his trial by combat WAY back at the loony bin the Erye, guilting him to visit his brother, the man Jaime at least kinda believes killed his son/nephew. Jaime tries to cheer Tyrion up with stories about being covered in crap, but  it’s hard, considering Tyrion is fairly confident that he’s going to die. Jaime brings up the elephant in the room (does that work in this case? Dragon in the room?) by pointing out that Sansa is still missing.

Speaking of, here’s Sansa and she goes right for the throat, asking Little Finger point blank if he killed Joffrey. He, of course, admits it and then goes on an almost Gary Oldman style delivery that equates to pretty much “I’m evil because I’m evil.” type character ark that I kinda hoped for.

Now, the Tyrells are walking through the garden once more before Olenna leaves. Margaery is than pleased. Olenna tells her the story of how she met her husband. She tells Margaery to go speak (aka fuck his brains out) to Tommen and get ahead of Cersei in terms of influence. Oh, also that she orchestrated Joffrey’s assassination. No big deal.

To Castle Black where Jon Snow is helping train the rest of the Night’s Watch to fight the Wildlings. Acting commander of the Watch Alliser Thorne is not pleased with this, what with his intense hatred of brooding young men. Snow also meets Locke, you know, the guy that chopped Jamie’s hand off.

Drunken Cersei! Not only is she drunk, she is PISSED, demanding that more guards be placed outside Tommen’s bedroom, asking Jaime to hunt down Sansa, and again accusing Tyrion of poisoning Joffrey. Jaime defends Tyrion, which of course does not go over well Cersei. She kicks him out, and that does not seem to go over well with Jaime. Ah…family…

Speaking of, here comes Margaery sneaking into Tommen’s room to “speak” with him. She starts planting the seeds of things to come. She is then viciously attacked…by Tommen’s cat (with what I contend will be the most popular name for cats in the coming year ish) Ser Pounce. Oh god…even in death Joffrey is a dick. Tommen recounts that he threatened to skin the cat alive and feed his brother the entrails. Wow… They finish their chat, Margaery asking if he’d like her to visit again (duh…) before kissing him on the forehead.

Jamie and Brienne are reading what has been written about Jaime in the history of the King’s Guard, which is less than flattering. In an act to try to redeem himself and better his legacy (Really guys? Just coming out and saying what we already know?), Jaime gives her the sword that Tywin gave him and tasked her with finding Sansa and protecting her, since she did vow to get them for the now dead Lady Stark. He also gives her new armor and…Podrick! Holy crap, this could be awesome!

Sam and Jon are studying maps, trying to figure out where Bran has ended up. Sam is worried about Gilly, Jon is brooding, you know. Alliser tells Jon that he’ll allow him to lead a suicide mission to try to capture/kill the group of mutineers. Cue dramatic volunteering sequence, including the obligatory shot of Alliser looking disapproving.

And we’re north of the Wall where we find one of the mutineers drinking from a skull, because if this show was missing anything, it’s villainous tropes. Oh, and Craster’s Keep is now a rape tent. And Karl Tanner (Owen from Torchwood for those scoring at home) is in charge. He starts bragging about his life before in King’s Landing as an assassin.

Here comes Craster’s last born son, which Karl gives to another of the mutineers. He then takes the child into the forest and leaves it as a sacrifice for the White Walkers. The guy then goes and taunts Ghost (when did he get caught?) but is scared away by the flash freeze associated with the Walkers arrival.

Bran’s gang hears the cries in the distance and Bran Beastmasters his way into Summer and rushes to see what’s going on. Ah…that’s how. Summer is trapped, snapping the connection.

The group finds the mutineers, and are caught as the try to figure out how to free the wolves. Hodor is chained around the neck and tormented while the rest are interrogated by Karl. Jojen (the other warg) has a seizure, Meera (the sister) trys to help but is stopped, and Bran blurts out who he is. Well…this does not bode well.

The episode ends with a White Walker riding to an ice alter and placing the child on it. Another, with a head like Darth Maul, places a finger on the kids face and the kids eyes go icy blue. Awesome…baby White Walker.Fantastic.

 

Not a bad episode, a little meh for me. Again, sorry for the delay. Hopefully I can get the next one up sooner.