Spoilers

Season 4 opens with Tywin Lannister melting down Ned Stark’s great sword to forge two swords, one of which is given to the returned Jaime. Tywin presents the sword to him and states that he is to be relieved f all of his duties in the King’s Guard and is to be sent to rule Casterly Rock in his fathers place.. Unsurprisingly, Jaime is less than pleased with this and refuses to leave. Needless to say, Tywin is also less than pleased with this stating when Jamie tries to gie back the sword that “A one handed man with no family needs all the help he can get.” Frosty.

Tyrion makes his first appearance waiting for a Dornish prince in preparation for King Joffery’s wedding only to find that the prince has decided not to go due to “health” and sent his brother Oberyn, who arrived in the morning before the rest of his party,in his stead. This sends Tyrion reeling and prompts him to search out the prince before “he kills somebody or several somebodys”, leading them to check Littlefinger’s whorehouse.

Shock of shocks, there’s Oberyn sizing up offerings. Finding a grl suitable for his paramour Ellaria Sand, and a man for himself, he hears a pair of Lannisters singing a song of their house. Oberyn, showing some obvious ill feelings towards the House of the Golden Lion, stabs one of the men in the hand as he attempts to draw his own weapon. Entire the Lannister welcome wagon.

Oberyn states his stance on the Lannisters, pointing out that was them that slaughtered his sister, niece, and nephew. He passes along a threat saying that “the Lannisters aren’t the only ones that pay their debts.”

Let there be dragons! Daenerys is sitting on a cliff with one of her dragons, watching the other two fighting over what turns out to be lamb, dropping it so all three begin to fight over it. Trying to convince them not to fight, she is instead snapped at. Must be the terrible twos.

Daenrys then finds that two of her best warriors, Grey Worm and the apparently recast Daario Naharis, have been stuck in a contest to see who gets to ride beside her. She more or less calls them idiots and orders them to cut their shit.

Back to King’s Landing where Shae is acting more like a an irritated mother to Sansa rather than her hand maiden. Sansa continues to sulk in the wake of the Red Wedding, showing her unhappiness in her current situation by going on a hunger strike.

After hearing about the visions his reluctant wife has of her family being slaughtered, Tyrion returns to his chamber to find Shae, trying her best to seduce him. Unwilling to do so for fear of the current situation (“My nephew the King is trying to murder me, my wife hates me because my father murdered her family, Oberyn Martell wants to murder everyone whose last name is Lannister…”), he spurns her advances in a continued attempt to protect her, made ever harder by Shae’s unwillingness to be protected. The argument catches the attention of a girl in the hallway.

Jaime is fit with a golden hand that Cersei had specially crafted for him because of course she did. Jamie tries to get into his sisters pants, because of course he did, and is rebuffed because Jaime didn’t apologize for getting captured and having his hand chopped off. Wow…I thought I had trouble figuring out women. The girl comes to Cersei, no doubt with news of the shit storm that took place between Tyrion and Shae. Awesome.

The surviving Wildlings are met by reinforcements (?) from the north. Whether it be the ritualistic face scaring or cannibalism, this group is not met with open arms.

At Castle Black, Jon Snow is told the news of Robb’s death. Samwell Tarly informs Jon that the Night’s Watch council is ready to judge him. Jon tells them of his plan about infiltrating the ranks of those Beyond the Wall. He also tells them about Mance Rayder’s plan of attack , which is initially scoffed at. He’s able to convince Maester Aemon, who uses his past in King’s Landing to sense whether or not people were lying, that he is speaking the truth and is spared his life.

Meanwhile, in King’s Landing, Olenna and Margaery Tyrell continue to plan for the Royal Wedding. Brianne of Tarth arrives to inform Margaery of what she saw when Renly Baratheon was killed and vowed vengeance. Margaery seems…um…disinterested in avenging her husbands death.

While riding towards their next target, and rebuffing the advances of Daario, Daenrys and her army come across a murdered slave girl that has been tied to a stake and posed as mile marker. One of one hundred and sixty three. One of the one hundred and sixty three that Daenrys wants to see and have buried while on the way.

Arya and the Hound finally make an appearance. They discuss their current standings (Arya wants a horse of her own), both knowing that neither has anything better going for them at present. While looking for a place to eat and rest, Arya notices Polliver,the man that killed a friend of hers and stole Needle, the sword that Jon had given her. Polliver approaches them, recognizing the Hound but not Arya. After some banter back and forth that includes Polliver stating his devotion to King Joffery, the Hound stating “Fuck the King”, and a fight a few on one that Hound wins because he’s a bad ass. Oh, and Arya gets her sword back, mocking Polliver after doing so before driving it through his throat. Hey, she got the horse!

Solid first episode back, setting the table for things to come. It’s good to have you back Game of Thrones. The winter was long. What did you guys think? Looking forward to what comes next? Talk about it in the comments below.