The Following Article is a Guest Editorial

Xbox 360 is slinging deals left and right to keep people coming back to last gen and spend the mighty dollar. Most games you’ll find for under 20 or even under 5-10 dollars are older, but there are occasionally goodies. While this is honestly awesome for a few good titles – looking at you, Mirrors Edge – some of the so called bargains are ball busters. A new out-of-nowhere title, Deadliest Warriors Battlegrounds, is straight up not worth my money but somehow all of my time. Since it came under the radars of promo media, I’m all the more intrigued.

If you’re familiar with the television show or the Mortal Kombat style fighter – Deadliest Warriors The Game – you already know about the debate topic: is a ninja deadlier than a pirate, or what about knights or Spartans? The show and game put historical study and statistics to the test, but ultimately, the debate survives. This out-of-the-blue first person fighting version, Battlegrounds, pits you against up to 11 online players or bots to see who is the best – or the worst!

I wanted to save the $14.99 in Xbox Live Marketplace and just try the demo to quench my curiosity. Holy s#!+ am I glad I took that route. This game is broken AF. Yeah, I got vulgar, but I’m serious. Don’t get me wrong, the graphics of the arenas and characters are beautiful, but the game-play’s guts are riddled with defects that the developers seemingly overlook. Weapon swinging, landing hits, and sweet jeebus, the running animation: they’re all laughable! Picture a guy trying to keep his pants up without a belt with a stick up his butt. Strafing will make you trololol or roflcopter, which you prefer.

All this anguish, but I burned my 30 minute demo time down before I knew it. In fact, I got an hour because it didn’t save my time the first day I tried it. I kept coming back like Chapelle Show’s guy on crack. I don’t smoke rocks, but I apparently did many lines of Deadliest Warrior Battlegrounds without inhibition. Maybe it was the hilarity of a character’s silly yell or the frustration of trying to land hits with Skyrim-rip-off controls with bad delay; whatever it was, I wanted and still want to play more. I even got my friend locked in by passing the controller each death. We skipped the tutorial at first and felt happy to finally self learn different slashes or the useful duck to dodge enemy swings. Shooting a Samurai bow or the pirate’s gun was the most fun, especially since the gun blows the enemy’s head off when point blank. Decapitations are a welcomed recurrence as well.

I sincerely hope some updates fix the bugs because there is more than I mentioned, but I’m addicted. I will say, of you read this far, download that damn demo & let know what you laughed or yelled at in game-play. I’ll be trying hard not to accidentally buy this game while inebriated on Xbox Live because that crack game is hard to resist in dark alleys wandered while drunk.

Have you already played? Did you buy it? Who’s your favorite warrior? Post comments about Deadliest Warriors & if you want to see this played on Twitch, make your request known! Hell, I might buy it just to entertain you. Or is that because I’m addicted & need an excuse? Don’t judge me!